Thursday, November 10, 2011

Recap Wannabe

Back in the comfort of my own home with my own doggies tomorrow! ALMOST made it.

Sidenote: I have horrendously bad luck when it's a full moon, so I might be jumping the gun with the previous declarations before the wheels have landed. It's not just superstition in my case,  y'all. It's real. Like, I got a $200 ticket one time for not using my right turn blinker in a right turn only lane during a full moon.

I was going to post pictures of all the reaons this trip has turned out to be exactly what I needed, but the internet is moving slower than Highway 59 in Houston, northbound, at 5 pm, when there's a wreck, due to massive construction resulting in lane closures. So, the pictures will come tomorrow when I'm settled in.

HEAR THAT, FULL MOON? I'm making PLANS, so don't try anything FUNNY.

I will briefly recap an epiphany I had this week on the treadmill.

It's no secret if you've been reading the last few days that this trip has emotionally hit me in a few tender places. Could be that last year when I was here, thoughts of a certain boy kept me going. Could be that I've been here enough times to know that I'd rather be home. Could be job woes. Could be the impending full moon, or any number of tricky factors.

So, I was on the treadmill, dutifully putting in my miles, and all the reasons behind the emotions flooded me at the same time. I was at minute 23 on the TM. Huge, huge lump in the throat appeared, and I wanted to stop running, go back to my room, journal, cry, call my mom, anything other than keep doing what I was doing.

But then I thought, okay, your throat is literally closed because you're about to bawl. It hurts. But doesn't your ankle hurt? Isn't there pain in your knee? Your left lung might explode at any second, yes?

And yet, you keep going.

You don't stop because your ankles hurt, or your knees are killing you, or your lungs are on fire. No, those pains indicate progress. You are getting stronger, faster, better, and those temporary growing pains are the result.

Why do your emotions and the physical repsonses to those emotions get a pass? Perhaps the fleeting tears are telling you you're doing exactly what you should be doing.

You feel pain. How do you deal with it? You. keep. going. So, go.

And that is what I did. I kept running - despite the knees, the ankles, the lungs, and even the emo-lump. I accepted them all as progress and promises of greater things to come in the future.

Just gotta keep going. :)

1 comment: