The Best of 2011

I don't guess I've ever gotten to the end of a year and thought, "What a crock! That year sucked!" In fact, while the days may sometimes be longer than I'd like, the years are getting quicker and better. A lot quicker, and a lot better.

This year, however...this year has been extra special. Without further ado, here are the highlights (in order of how they come to my memory, which might be in order of importance, or impact...I don't know):

1. My first marathon

2. Going to Alaska

3. Post-Run Brunches

4. Meeting my 323 girls

5. Monthly Book Clubs

6. Going to Canada a couple times (pre-return to blogging)

7. Running with Kenyan Way

8. Having more time for these guys:

9. Going on some dates with a couple really cool guys...and deciding potential relationships aren't what I'm interested in right now.

10. All the fun people I've met by choosing single life

11. Finally getting my windshield fixed after, like, 2 years

12. Returning to the blogosphere

13. Having time for books. Lots and lots of glorious books

14. Getting a juicer

15. Getting into grad school (Oh yeah! I keep forgetting!)

16. Meeting my new therapist, Carole. So, so thankful for her!

17. My kindle

18. Bridesmaids

18. Breaking Bad, American Horror Story, Big Bang Theory and New Girl

19. Learning more and more and more about Houston

20. And last but not least...

                                                                             ....All the froyos in the world!

I hope your year has been everything and more you wished for, and I'll be wishing all the best for you in the new year!

Onward!

After a very lazy day yesterday, I finally exerted myself to Memorial Park and did 8.5 relatively fast-for-me miles. It felt good, but we'll see how tomorrow goes. That 20 miler that was supposed to happen on Monday ended up being only 14, so tomorrow is my last, last, last chance to get in a big distance before I have to be well into my taper for the Houston marathon. Winning!

I'm heading to Austin in about an hour to spend time with my brothers and SILs. Austin is a great place to have no agenda, and I'm looking forward to whatever we get ourselves into.

Swear I'll start taking pictures again soon. Pinky swear.

Enjoy this second to last day of the old year!

Movie Weekend

I saw two movies this weekend.

I'll skip the niceties. Sherlock Holmes 2 was not for me. There was zero romance, and it wasn't that funny. Sherlock Holmes was not an action figure. He was brainy and clever; he wasn't James freakin' Bond. Anyway.

Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead was quite intriguing. It wasn't the highest quality documentary I've ever seen, but it piqued my interest, especially the idea of doing a 10 day "Reboot" fruit and vegetable juice fast. There were three main "characters" in the film: Joe Cross - the guy who decided he was tired of being fat, sick and nearly dead so he went on a vegetable juice fast and lost over 80 pounds, a woman who does the Reboot for 10 days, and Phil Riverstone - who went from 430 pounds to 220 pounds starting with a juice fast then switching to a totally micronutrient diet.

Looking very good, Joe Cross!

The movie has me seriously contemplating doing the 10 day Reboot. The documentary made it seem like the first three days are Hell but then you start to feel amazing and incredibly energetic.

...I could go for that. There's nothing better than a little torture with a great payoff at the end.

Speaking of which, I'm off for a date with Jillian!

Terrify me some more! You're scary!

Gangster's Paradise, or Wedding Dress Shopping

Guess what I haven't done today?

Work out.

Guess what I have done today?

Shopped for a wedding dress.
Brunched.
Menched.
Naaaaaaapped.
And now I'm watching Pride and Prejudice before forcing myself to work out (thanks for the motivation, Mr. Darcy) and then head to my last foreseeable Christmas soiree.




I love the way you brood.

 What you won't see in the following pictures is the bride-to-be, Ninja. The lovely, beautiful, wedding-dressed pictures of her obviously aren't yet for public viewing pleasure. What I can share with you are the good times outside the dressing room.

That's as close as you'll come to seeing a picture of Ninja in this post. But she's in there, promise, getting all matrimonial!

The moral support. The soundtrack to this day was OJ singing (and dancing to) Christmas carols...loudly. :)

Have a holly, jolly wedding dress shopping experience...

She was basically a one-woman musical.

Store number two was a gangster's paradise. There was no dancing. Only judging.

After a 2+ hour lunch with 2+ mimosas, it was time for the final act of the musical.

All in all, very successful day. Couldn't be happier for that Ninja girl, her Ninja boy, and their wonderful relationship! I also couldn't imagine a better wedding-dress-support-group partner than OJ.

Now stop distracting me, I really have to work out and get back out into the night!

Friendmas!

This week is Christmas party mania, which makes working out that much more important but also that much harder to squeeze in. I flew to the gym immediately after work, plopped on a bike for 30 minutes, then ran for another 30 minutes. They were both exceptionally boring. End of story.

What wasn't boring was the rest of my night...

OJ filled her home with lots of Christmas cheer and then had a bunch of people over to celebrate Friendmas last night! I'm all about the cheese at OJ's events. Her taste in wine+her guests' taste in cheese always makes a happy home for the holidays.

Her home might be from a magazine. Everything is perfect!

I love this tree and this girl...and our sorority sister pose. Cha!

Ninja, who is most assuredly on the naughty list every year, walked away from the White Elephant with the best prize: a new wine decanter! I am now the proud owner of snap-on pants-hemmers. There is no justice!

Ninja and I also split 3 pieces of cake after taste-testing two different kinds of cookies. This is Polly and I really enjoying an amazing carrot cake. (Polly is the most adorable name, and it belongs to the most adorable girl.)

The dessert bar. If you live in Houston, kindly make your way to Dessert Gallery stat. Like, now. Tonight. Go. Wait, invite me over and pull a blanket over me when I'm passed out in a food coma on your couch at the end of the night.  

Lily was there in the background but she was too busy scavenging to take pictures with me.

I did not weigh myself this morning because I'm sure the holiday happiness bloat I'm experiencing would have made me at least 5 lbs heavier than I actually am.

In other news, I found out yesterday I got into grad school! In three little years I'll be Amy Still, Master of Educational Psychology! Night school, here I come!

The Marathon Marathon

In short, I did it! I ran (aka survived by any means possible) a marathon, and no one can ever take that away from me. I am so happy I did it, and so happy it's over. The day couldn't have been worse for a first marathon (or a third or fourth or nineteenth marathon), but we'll get to that in a second.

After dinner Saturday night, my nerves really reached a climax when I realized that the bad weather wasn't going to pass; the clouds were not going to part and the birds were not going to sing. Dallas was experiencing an unseasonable cold snap (~43 degrees), and there was an 80-90% chance of ran all day Sunday. Ponchos and warm clothes were not just an option but a necessity.

I'll have to do another post on the unbelievable bad luck that comes with being a Still. It's remarkable, really.

Anyways, Sunday morning, bright and early, I donned my bottom layer.

This was my first time wearing these last-minute-purchase arm warmers. Everything else about this ensem is what I've been training in for months and months.

Dee came to our hotel room around 6:45 and we prepared to leave, decked out in our cold weather duds.

Excited, nervous, both of knowing this was not the way our first marathons were supposed to start.

Fortunately we were only a few miles from the race and neither of us needed to do anything other than get in line, so we didn't leave the hotel until 7. By 7:50 we were in our corral, also known as the very end of the line.

Being at the back leaves a lot of time to take pictures and do some last minute freaking out strategizing.

That yellow sign 30 minutes down the way was our starting point.

We discovered wearing our hats over the poncho hood would keep us a little drier...

...and add a little panache to our overall ensembles.

Finally, finally - we got to the start. And then it immediately started raining.

It was really cold. There was wind. And the rain wasn't gentle or indecisive. After all my training, even just getting to five miles felt a lot harder than it should. I paced to conserve energy, but my body was working so hard just to keep me warm that my energy plummeted what seemed like way too early.

Still, I kept reminding myself that this was my first, and that if nothing else, I wanted to enjoy it and soak it all in. We fell in with the 5-hour-finisher group, and I stuck with them until mile 18.

I told myself that the balloons on that 5-hour-finisher sign meant we were at a party, we were having fun. I CHOSE to do this (even if I didn't choose the climate).

This was the last picture I took before weaving my way into the finish line. It took all my energy and resolve and dwindling willpower to keep going; I surprised myself by actually having to FORCE myself to finish. At one point, after my only portapotty stop, my body was so cold that I wasn't even sure if my pants were all the way up, and honestly, I didn't really even care. I just pulled my poncho back over me and kept going.

At mile 18, I had to start taking walk breaks. My spirit was broken and my knees, ankles, toes and balls of my feet hurt so bad. My arm was spasming - something that definitely never happened in training. I called my parents and told them to meet me at mile 20. This gave me a surge of energy that actually backfired because I made it to mile 20 before my parents could get there.

Mile 21, still no parents. I wanted to quit.

Mile 22, still nothing. I really, really just wanted to stop and hold a hot cup of something.

I don't know what compelled spectators to come out in weather like what we were experiencing, but every single time someone yelled, "Way to go, Amy!" or "Looking great, Amy!" or anything of that sort, my eyes welled up. It made me want to start going to races to cheer others on. It was huge.

Coming up on 23, I made out what looked to be the shape of my parents. I lifted a soaking, sleeved hand and waved, and my dad waved back. I started crying and used the remainder of my running energy to shuffle over to them. I cried harder. More than anything, I was just so cold. So, so cold and drenched. Those sleeves were so wet that they were making me colder by the minute. My parents were both talking at once and hugging me and I was totally disoriented. Finally my dad ripped off my water-logged running hat and pulled his huge, warm, dry hat all the way over my head. I could barely see, but I held up three frozen fingers: three more miles. They rotated me in the direction I needed to go, and off I went.

I straight-up speed walked those last three miles. My entire lower body hurt so bad that I tried to walk 10 steps, run 20, but even that didn't work. I knew I wanted to cross the finish line running anyway I could, so I power-walked and just prayed for it to be over.

After what seemed like an eternity, I passed the 26 mile marker. I mustered the last of my energy, fueled by what little pride I had left, and I trotted towards the finish line, keeping my eyes peeled for my parents. Right before the end, I heard my dad yell "Amy! Amy!" I looked over, beamed and pointed at him. I crossed, let a cute boy wrap me in a blanket and made my way to my parents.

I was so weary, delirious, cold and emotional that I walked away without my medal. Damn. But I still don't really even care. The medal is nothing compared to this feeling in my head and heart (plus I'm going to have the medal shipped to me, haha).

2011 Dallas White Rock Marathon-from-Hell Finisher!!

So much pain but so much satisfaction. :)

 

The big warm hat was my saving grace. I'm pretty sure I would have died if I hadn't seen my parents at mile 23.

What a day! My parents and I celebrated with some Chuy's that night. I drank two Sangrias with my meal.

My heroes! They saved me!

All in all, I wish the circumstances had been different, but I'm so happy the day I've been dreaming of and training for has come and gone, and I made it to the other side in one piece. I think my time was between 5:15 and 5:30. Maybe a sub 5 is in my future, but I accomplished what I wanted for my first marathon: I finished and absorbed every moment and sensation. Praise the Lord!

My cheerleading squad was really glad the whole thing was over. It was apparently a very exhausting responsibility.

Cheerleading. Not for the faint of heart.

November Recap

November sailed.


11/11 totally delivered. I was crazy busy at work, both in Houston and Mexico, I did some major runs, had multiple Thanksgivings, and spent the last week of the month in Alaska with Lauren.

I watered and watered and watered...and the grass was effin' green!

I guess before getting on to my December goals, I have to recap my goals for November. Moment of truth.


1. I will not be spending more than $100 on food/groceries for the entire month.
Well. First of all, don't ever put yourself on a strict food budget in November. Come on, Still, what were you thinking? Between multiple Thanksgivings wherein I was expected to bring delicious dishes and a week in Alaska where Lauren doesn't have a real kitchen, things got spensive. I did really well until the middle of the month, and then all the remaining food dollars in my wallet totally scattered. I plan to try this again in January because I absolutely believe in reigning in my food allowance with a little more force.


2. I will keep a daily food/exercise log.
Second, my daily food and exercise log lasted until, again, about the middle of the month. The five pounds of fury remaineth. Fail.


3. Do yoga at least twice.
Yoga four times, baby! That's, like, almost once a week!


4. Read three books.
This was definitely my greatest triumph this month, haha. Sybil, Exposed, Once a Runner, Is Everyone Hanging Out without Me, The Marriage Plot, and Spontaneous Happiness.


5. Take More Pictures.
Hurrah!


6. Have a blast in Alaska
Blast is an understatement. We killed it! I LOVE Alaska!


7. Enjoy the end of the year.
I had a total breakthrough yesterday with my therapist. I use the word breakthrough instead of epiphany because I really feel like I broke out of some invisible cage or scaled some invisible wall to arrive where I did yesterday.


I was describing a dream I had in Alaska about my big bad ex. In the dream, everything was torn up and in disarray (in the dream, we met on a construction site - my subconscious is so cute sometimes). My therapist (who I'll call Carole because that is her name) pointed out that the dialogue in the dream, both mine and his, revolved completely around him. Even in my OWN dreams, I am not the star or the main concern. All I cared about was him, and all he cared about was him.


It was as if my psyche was screaming at me, “I literally can’t make this any clearer for you!” because I was carrying a stapler throughout the entire dream. A broken stapler. I gave everything I had to this person, I gave it all to the relationship, but I could not fix it. I could not make it right. Even in the dream, if I tried to fix it, my tool would have been a broken stapler.

Anyways, I went into my schpeel with Carole about how frustrated I am that I can’t just once and for all flush this boy out of my heart and mind. I am 100% happier and more fulfilled and challenged than I was with him in my life, so why do I occasionally have such annoying dreams/defeating thoughts?

Carole asked me, “What do you think you get out of sad, painful emotional episodes like this?”

Me: “I have no idea! I wish I knew!” (sob sob)

C: “This is just my hunch, so you can take it or leave it, but it seems like these sad memories and this pain – these are the only things you have left of X, and you are desperate to hold on to some part of him anyway you can.”

Me: “Whhhaaa…?” Lightbulb so hard

C: “It’s totally within your rights to hold on to this sadness and these painful memories forever. No one can ask you to put these down or let them go. But, I just wonder, what would your life be like if you just…let go? It must get so exhausting for you, clinging to this hurt, holding on to it so you can hold on to a part of him. What would happen if you decided to let go?”

And that, my friends, I had never considered. So much of my life’s emotional energy I’ve wasted trying to keep this boy a part of my life, my identity. I’ve dedicated 10 years of my existence to thoughts, memories, dreams and desires for him (both my own and his), and it’s been a taxing, weary struggle the whole time. So why have I done it? I continued to grasp onto these sadnesses and pains because I thought he needed to be part of my identity. I thought he was supposed to be a part of my story. I mean, who am I if not the girl who loved and lost in a major way? Who am I if not a girl who was heartdecimatedbroken by the same guy - twice?

I am so exhausted from actively being sad and hurt and worried and upset just because I convinced myself that he had to be a part of my story. Dearest Amy, he doesn’t. He isn’t. (God that feels good to say!)

So I spent 3 miles yesterday asking myself what would happen if I let go to that part of myself. Just…let go, dropped that wad of dirty, 10 year old, used up emotional energy. What new things could I make room for, what new aspects of myself could I discover with all this new room and clean, powerful energy?

I am so excited, friends. I win. I wish him well but I win, for myself, and there's so much free space in my heart and mind for wonderful, exciting fresh life to enter.

Whew, ok. Enough of this! December goals to come tomorrow.

PS: I'm running a marathon in 3 days!!

Last Night in Anchorage (and what a RICO experience!)

Lauren and I set out for our last night on the town. First stop, chocolate!

I was obsessed with this store. You'll see why in a few seconds.

Just us 3 little bears! (Yep, still wearing my signature Alaska gear.)

Drooooooool.

THIS is why I love this store. The chocolate bar. Zomg. (Please focus your attention on the choco-rista behind the counter there. He plays a starring role in the events of tonight.)

He forced us to try chocolate covered bacon. Not a fan. Nope.

Those Kokamakalekurumu (the pronunciation is debatable) caramels were my Alaskan obsesh. I ate my weight in these salted morsels. Yumm!

Having an Eyes Wide Shut experience with my caramels.

And now, my favorite moment in Alaska: the choco-rista, Rico G., TOTALLY slipped Lauren his number! Sham-on!

Tonight was the best way to end this perfect vacation. Lauren and I indulged in chocolates of all sorts, Lauren got some digits from an Alaskan stallion and then we consumed ridiculously delicious Thai food. All in all, I give this trip 8 out of 8 stars. Alaska, the Last Frontier, was everything I expected and wanted and needed and more.

Back to the airport so soon, le sigh. Twelve hours of travel and I'll be back home, tired and totally satisfied. Alaska siempre!