Happy New Year!

Yesterday was spent in Austin with my brothers and their wives, and while I normally detest playing games (board games, cards, anything athletic or competitive), I had such a great time!

The only game I tolerate is Apples to Apples, primarily because the only skill involved is out-ridiculous-ing everyone else. That I can usually do pretty well.

Despite my natural talent for losing, we had a great time hanging out and berating each other - you know, bonding.

I had been out for about 20 minutes at this point, but it was still fun watching the mayhem and adrenaline associated with slapping games (this was ERF).

No, I was much more inclinded to be like these guys...

Roger and Benny's cousin, Tanner

Roger and Benny's other cousin, Viggo

Dee lended (lent?) me a couple books, and I'm already loving this one:

Scent of the Missing by Susannah Charleson

Dogs are such amazing creatures. While mine certainly couldn't search and/or rescue a fuzzy toy right in front of their faces, much less a person, I very much relate to this magnet:

Okay, so I got Roger from a breeder as a pup, but I always think of Benny, my rescue puggy, when I see this.

Anyways, yesterday - super fun.

Today - woke up at 4:15 and hit the pavement to end the year on a long, high, sweaty note: 20 miles.

Most of the Houston marathoners are already tapering, but I really felt the need to get in at least one long run before Jan. 15, and today was finally that day. Ninja ran with me for about 11 miles, and that was truly the only thing that kept me going. I have learned I am NOT a solo runner...it's just too boring and all I can think about is either how much pain I'm in or how bored I am.

So with that behind me, all that remains until 2012 are the parties and the champagne...after I take my nap, of course.

Happy New Year! Be safe and enjoy!

The Best of 2011

I don't guess I've ever gotten to the end of a year and thought, "What a crock! That year sucked!" In fact, while the days may sometimes be longer than I'd like, the years are getting quicker and better. A lot quicker, and a lot better.

This year, however...this year has been extra special. Without further ado, here are the highlights (in order of how they come to my memory, which might be in order of importance, or impact...I don't know):

1. My first marathon

2. Going to Alaska

3. Post-Run Brunches

4. Meeting my 323 girls

5. Monthly Book Clubs

6. Going to Canada a couple times (pre-return to blogging)

7. Running with Kenyan Way

8. Having more time for these guys:

9. Going on some dates with a couple really cool guys...and deciding potential relationships aren't what I'm interested in right now.

10. All the fun people I've met by choosing single life

11. Finally getting my windshield fixed after, like, 2 years

12. Returning to the blogosphere

13. Having time for books. Lots and lots of glorious books

14. Getting a juicer

15. Getting into grad school (Oh yeah! I keep forgetting!)

16. Meeting my new therapist, Carole. So, so thankful for her!

17. My kindle

18. Bridesmaids

18. Breaking Bad, American Horror Story, Big Bang Theory and New Girl

19. Learning more and more and more about Houston

20. And last but not least...

                                                                             ....All the froyos in the world!

I hope your year has been everything and more you wished for, and I'll be wishing all the best for you in the new year!

Onward!

After a very lazy day yesterday, I finally exerted myself to Memorial Park and did 8.5 relatively fast-for-me miles. It felt good, but we'll see how tomorrow goes. That 20 miler that was supposed to happen on Monday ended up being only 14, so tomorrow is my last, last, last chance to get in a big distance before I have to be well into my taper for the Houston marathon. Winning!

I'm heading to Austin in about an hour to spend time with my brothers and SILs. Austin is a great place to have no agenda, and I'm looking forward to whatever we get ourselves into.

Swear I'll start taking pictures again soon. Pinky swear.

Enjoy this second to last day of the old year!

Discovery Green

Remember when we were Texan kids and our parents would take us to manmade-snow slopes so we could see what it's like in states that actually experience four seasons?

I do. And the slopes were always majestic and enchanting, dangerous and frigid.

My how times have changed.



What in the world...?

 There are a lot of reasons why I'm glad I grew up in the eighties and not today. Apart from the weaksauce snow slopes these days, I'm glad cars didn't come with built in TVs. Car rides were slow and torturous, just like they should be! PG-rated movies were idealistic and innocent, no curse words allowed! Games like "Hide and Go Seek" and "Tag" were the epitome of afterschool fun. More than anything, I'm really glad cell phones and Facebook weren't around. My kids are going to hate me because I'm going to raise them old-school style. Like, we're gonna play outside and get dirty and use our imaginations, and when they're bad, the spankings will come in abundance!

So the snow slope was embarrasing. My mom and I still had a good time. We took the little gentlmen to the dog park:

All I can say is, my mom really, really wanted the boys to drink out of the doggie water fountain. No luck on that front, but we did confirm that doggie water fountains are very, very strange.

The boys were kind enough to pose with me in their Christmas collars. We had to the take the bells off Roger's collar because the noise scared him.

Tomorrow my parents and I are heading to New Braunfels and then on to San Antonio for Christmas with my brothers. I'm supposed to do a 20 miler tomorrow. Hilarious! Tomorrow and Sunday are for family and eating, and that is ALL!

(20 miler has been postponed til Monday. Groan.)



A Massage for my Heart

I'm going to work on upping the sappy factor of my blog post titles next year. I feel I'm on the right track with this one.

Yesterday was my second to last work day of the year. That made it the second best day of the year so far. Can you guess where today ranks?

Yesterday was also the first time I've ever gotten a massage. I was nervous. I told everyone at the chiropractic office where I was getting it done. I kept on as many clothes as possible (eventually I had to take my scarf off). I asked the masseuse a lot of awkward questions. I didn't relax for the first 40 minutes of the hour-long thing. And...it was painful! I've been informed by experienced massagees that the pain is normal and good, but I was really shocked at just HOW painful it was! At one point he spent 5 minutes pinching and pulling and pounding my right tricep. My tricep!

All in all, I liked it. It's not my favorite thing, but it was probably something my body needed and appreciated. 

With my body all loose and relaxed, it was time for a massage of the heart with THE LADIES CHRISTMAS DINNER GIFT EXCHANGE 2011. 

These women... 

...have made...

...this year....

...a cut above the rest.

The food was amazing (wow, Damian's), the wine was amazing, and the presents - the Penzey's spices and homemade cranberry vodka and lemoncello and other adult beverage goodies - the presents were so special and perfect!

After dinner we rolled ourselves back to our prospective homes, where I tried to read but ended up passing out in no time. The first annual THE LADIES CHRISTMAS DINNER GIFT EXCHANGE 2011 was a major, major highlight of the holidays!

This is what I think I know.

this is what i think know:


its never going to be as bad as it was with [ex-boyfriend].

i know more about myself

and what i deserve

and i can handle it.

if i get hurt

i can handle it.

it doesnt make me less of a person.

it just makes me human.
 
 
Words of wisdom like these are why girls need girlfriends. I can't even imagine having a boyfriend again; I don't even remember how sharing a life with someone works - or maybe I've never really known. But I do know, like my friend, that come what may, I can handle it.
 
I'm having my first massage EVER tonight! And then THE LADIES do a fancy dinner and gift exchange. Bonus: tomorrow is my last work day of the year!
 
Please expect lots of Shredding and Running (let's talk about that 20 miler I'm supposed to do on Christmas Eve). And movies and reading. And hanging out. And dog cuddling.
 
Only 11 more days til 2012!

Planet Earth

I might be jumping the gun on this, but I figured I made it 11 months and 16 days with this guy before spilling a whole Nalgene full of water all over it. Today, a tsunami hit Planet Earth. Time to retire my 2011 calendar.

Of all calendar years, 2011 has seen the most action, the most highs and lows, the most losses and successes. I'm thankful for all the life experience and thicker skin and strength and tenderness, but I'm pretty happy to chuck the day-by-day reminders of every twist and turn.

On another note, book review time!

I'm obsessed.

Then Again by Diane Keaton

There are some books you want to read slowly so they don't end, but you can't help yourself because they're so good! To me, this is one of those books. I limit myself to tiny morsels every night.

It's part- her mother's journal entries, part- her own writing. She's so unabashedly honest, and I admire her for that. She writes very candidly about how much she loved and still loves Woody Allen.

You're so beautiful!

I've pretty much decided to take the Diane Keaton approach to life until otherwise inclined. She's been a bachelorette her entire life and then adopted kids at age 50. She clearly loved immensely and has had an amazing, adventurous, fulfilled, love-filled life. She's so eccentric and esteemed for her eccentricities.

I hope she writes a sequel. And I'm definitely watching Something's Gotta Give tonight. 

Friendmas!

This week is Christmas party mania, which makes working out that much more important but also that much harder to squeeze in. I flew to the gym immediately after work, plopped on a bike for 30 minutes, then ran for another 30 minutes. They were both exceptionally boring. End of story.

What wasn't boring was the rest of my night...

OJ filled her home with lots of Christmas cheer and then had a bunch of people over to celebrate Friendmas last night! I'm all about the cheese at OJ's events. Her taste in wine+her guests' taste in cheese always makes a happy home for the holidays.

Her home might be from a magazine. Everything is perfect!

I love this tree and this girl...and our sorority sister pose. Cha!

Ninja, who is most assuredly on the naughty list every year, walked away from the White Elephant with the best prize: a new wine decanter! I am now the proud owner of snap-on pants-hemmers. There is no justice!

Ninja and I also split 3 pieces of cake after taste-testing two different kinds of cookies. This is Polly and I really enjoying an amazing carrot cake. (Polly is the most adorable name, and it belongs to the most adorable girl.)

The dessert bar. If you live in Houston, kindly make your way to Dessert Gallery stat. Like, now. Tonight. Go. Wait, invite me over and pull a blanket over me when I'm passed out in a food coma on your couch at the end of the night.  

Lily was there in the background but she was too busy scavenging to take pictures with me.

I did not weigh myself this morning because I'm sure the holiday happiness bloat I'm experiencing would have made me at least 5 lbs heavier than I actually am.

In other news, I found out yesterday I got into grad school! In three little years I'll be Amy Still, Master of Educational Psychology! Night school, here I come!

Get up!

After spending the weekend channeling these two beloved characters...

...I figured it was time to get up out mah pit.

I had a 30 minute shred-sesh with Jillian Sunday afternoon, then went to the gym and rode a stationary bike for 40 minutes. Why does biking burn so few calories?! Some yahoo was watching Animal Planet so I spent those 40 minutes choking back tears for all the newborn baby turtles that got eaten by herons before reaching the ocean...the iguana seeking protection from an eagle that eventually tore him to shreds...and all the other deaths I witnessed.

Murderer!

Did you know it was a full moon this weekend? Didn't dawn on me until driving to work this morning. Suddenly it all, all, all makes sense. 

OJ met up with me after the gym for some good old fashioned dinner, wine and tough love. That girl gives it to me straight, and I love it. It hurts, no doubt. It's challenging, for sure. But it's real and it's usually accompanied by froyo, so that almost immediately makes it all better.

Anyways, great news came in the form of Ninja correspondence: She found me an entry to the Houston Marathon!

And just like that, I'm back, Jack!

Book Burning

My lease is up next month on my apartment.

A bit of background: the night my ex and I broke up, I moved out of my apartment (he lived in another city). I moved back home. I've had a subleaser until now, and he took the place as is, which required from me minimal trips back to the apartment to get the heck out of there.

This happened to be the biggest blessing of my life because I didn't eat for 3 weeks after that breakup. I still don't know how I went to work. I don't know how I survived, except that my mom brought home Dove bars one night and I slowly came back to life, one bar at a time.

But the lease is up, so it's time to clear the remaining stuff out. While I still hate being there, at least I don't dissolve into a million pieces anymore. Right?

Today I went to the apartment already emotional. I went alone. I went hungry.

Mistakes one, two and three.

I came across letters the ex had written me a year ago. Pictures. Suddenly, it felt like that breakup that was back in April had happened only yesterday.

With no time to spare, I used my available resources to get myself back together. That's how this happened.

Fireplaces ALWAYS come in handy!

It started with letters and pictures. Then an old newspaper. A couple of magazines. Before I knew it and before I wanted it to, the fire was dying. (Disclaimer: burning polaroids might be toxic.)

I needed more fuel! Around that time, this happened.

So long, Happiness Project. You are worth more to me in ashes than space on my bookshelves!

And it was a glorious five minutes. But a quick five minutes...

Great, cheesy movie...but the book did nothing for me.

Well I went scavenging for more books I felt were worth more in warmth and emotional healing to me than effort to pack up and move out, but unfortunately books were some of the first things to be salvaged from this place. The buck (flame) stopped here:

You just dont disrespect Jillian like that. Time to go home.

My plan for the day is to watch as many hours of Carrie Bradshaw as I can before I pass out in a 3 hour nap, wake up, do some Jillian, then go back to bed.

It's an emokid day. It just is.

The Marathon Marathon

In short, I did it! I ran (aka survived by any means possible) a marathon, and no one can ever take that away from me. I am so happy I did it, and so happy it's over. The day couldn't have been worse for a first marathon (or a third or fourth or nineteenth marathon), but we'll get to that in a second.

After dinner Saturday night, my nerves really reached a climax when I realized that the bad weather wasn't going to pass; the clouds were not going to part and the birds were not going to sing. Dallas was experiencing an unseasonable cold snap (~43 degrees), and there was an 80-90% chance of ran all day Sunday. Ponchos and warm clothes were not just an option but a necessity.

I'll have to do another post on the unbelievable bad luck that comes with being a Still. It's remarkable, really.

Anyways, Sunday morning, bright and early, I donned my bottom layer.

This was my first time wearing these last-minute-purchase arm warmers. Everything else about this ensem is what I've been training in for months and months.

Dee came to our hotel room around 6:45 and we prepared to leave, decked out in our cold weather duds.

Excited, nervous, both of knowing this was not the way our first marathons were supposed to start.

Fortunately we were only a few miles from the race and neither of us needed to do anything other than get in line, so we didn't leave the hotel until 7. By 7:50 we were in our corral, also known as the very end of the line.

Being at the back leaves a lot of time to take pictures and do some last minute freaking out strategizing.

That yellow sign 30 minutes down the way was our starting point.

We discovered wearing our hats over the poncho hood would keep us a little drier...

...and add a little panache to our overall ensembles.

Finally, finally - we got to the start. And then it immediately started raining.

It was really cold. There was wind. And the rain wasn't gentle or indecisive. After all my training, even just getting to five miles felt a lot harder than it should. I paced to conserve energy, but my body was working so hard just to keep me warm that my energy plummeted what seemed like way too early.

Still, I kept reminding myself that this was my first, and that if nothing else, I wanted to enjoy it and soak it all in. We fell in with the 5-hour-finisher group, and I stuck with them until mile 18.

I told myself that the balloons on that 5-hour-finisher sign meant we were at a party, we were having fun. I CHOSE to do this (even if I didn't choose the climate).

This was the last picture I took before weaving my way into the finish line. It took all my energy and resolve and dwindling willpower to keep going; I surprised myself by actually having to FORCE myself to finish. At one point, after my only portapotty stop, my body was so cold that I wasn't even sure if my pants were all the way up, and honestly, I didn't really even care. I just pulled my poncho back over me and kept going.

At mile 18, I had to start taking walk breaks. My spirit was broken and my knees, ankles, toes and balls of my feet hurt so bad. My arm was spasming - something that definitely never happened in training. I called my parents and told them to meet me at mile 20. This gave me a surge of energy that actually backfired because I made it to mile 20 before my parents could get there.

Mile 21, still no parents. I wanted to quit.

Mile 22, still nothing. I really, really just wanted to stop and hold a hot cup of something.

I don't know what compelled spectators to come out in weather like what we were experiencing, but every single time someone yelled, "Way to go, Amy!" or "Looking great, Amy!" or anything of that sort, my eyes welled up. It made me want to start going to races to cheer others on. It was huge.

Coming up on 23, I made out what looked to be the shape of my parents. I lifted a soaking, sleeved hand and waved, and my dad waved back. I started crying and used the remainder of my running energy to shuffle over to them. I cried harder. More than anything, I was just so cold. So, so cold and drenched. Those sleeves were so wet that they were making me colder by the minute. My parents were both talking at once and hugging me and I was totally disoriented. Finally my dad ripped off my water-logged running hat and pulled his huge, warm, dry hat all the way over my head. I could barely see, but I held up three frozen fingers: three more miles. They rotated me in the direction I needed to go, and off I went.

I straight-up speed walked those last three miles. My entire lower body hurt so bad that I tried to walk 10 steps, run 20, but even that didn't work. I knew I wanted to cross the finish line running anyway I could, so I power-walked and just prayed for it to be over.

After what seemed like an eternity, I passed the 26 mile marker. I mustered the last of my energy, fueled by what little pride I had left, and I trotted towards the finish line, keeping my eyes peeled for my parents. Right before the end, I heard my dad yell "Amy! Amy!" I looked over, beamed and pointed at him. I crossed, let a cute boy wrap me in a blanket and made my way to my parents.

I was so weary, delirious, cold and emotional that I walked away without my medal. Damn. But I still don't really even care. The medal is nothing compared to this feeling in my head and heart (plus I'm going to have the medal shipped to me, haha).

2011 Dallas White Rock Marathon-from-Hell Finisher!!

So much pain but so much satisfaction. :)

 

The big warm hat was my saving grace. I'm pretty sure I would have died if I hadn't seen my parents at mile 23.

What a day! My parents and I celebrated with some Chuy's that night. I drank two Sangrias with my meal.

My heroes! They saved me!

All in all, I wish the circumstances had been different, but I'm so happy the day I've been dreaming of and training for has come and gone, and I made it to the other side in one piece. I think my time was between 5:15 and 5:30. Maybe a sub 5 is in my future, but I accomplished what I wanted for my first marathon: I finished and absorbed every moment and sensation. Praise the Lord!

My cheerleading squad was really glad the whole thing was over. It was apparently a very exhausting responsibility.

Cheerleading. Not for the faint of heart.