Wow. I am tired.
We got into Brisbane around 8 am, which is 4 pm the day before for Texas folk. Deanna, our manager, picked us up and we went to the apartment, went shopping, went up to the office, and THEN were dropped off to unpack, adjust, cry (me) and sleep a little. Deanna and her husband took us out to a restaurant called Jaz for dinner, where they serve you raw food on a 500 degree stone. The food cooks in a jif and the stones keep the restaurant warm too.
We went into begin working the next day (today) and I’m sitting here rather zombie-like. My desk mate is a boy named Brandon, 22, from Canada. This office is in the process of moving to a larger location, so Brandon and I have been stuck out in a portable building called the dog house until the end of the month. I’m grateful no one else is out there because I bawled my eyes out today when he asked me if there was anyone back home I missed. I didn’t verbally respond, I just cried.
It’s so devastating to leave home, family, friends. This time feels more permanent, like not only am I leaving my loved ones, but I’m leaving adolescent Amy and all the security and safety nets that came along with her. The reality of that was enough to capitulate me into hysterics even before I left, but now that I am essentially alone to process these feelings, I’m crazed and emotional (okay so that’s not so untypical for me, but the time change hasn’t helped).
I woke up at 3:30 this morning and cried and read my Bible for a long time. I was reading Psalms (always a good go-to when I’m upset). The Psalms I immediately turned to had “Praise the Lord” as the first sentence of their sections. Repeatedly, I flipped to a Psalm and those three words popped up. So that’s what I’m trying to do/doing. I don’t know why I’m here, but I trust that Jesus wouldn’t have let me come unless he had a great message to give me, a lesson to teach me or a revelation to show me. I’ve pledged to myself and Him that my #1 purpose here will be to seek Him. Of course this should be my mission all throughout life, and why I can’t abide by that baffles me. As of the next 6 months, however, I have no other option, and that’s how I prefer it.