Confesh

I'm trying to lose weight.

There, I said it.

I'm 5'5 1/2, and I weigh 130 pounds. I'm active, and I usually eat pretty reasonably, even though I'm a big believer in indulgence in moderation.

I'm not heavy or large (this weight loss isn't about false humility), but over the past few months, I've become uncomfortable. And that's why I'm trying to lose weight.

I am proud of my body and how it can perform for me. I'm about to run my second marathon in two months - I'm not ashamed of a little extra jiggle if it means I can go farther and harder than ever before.

But, my work clothes are tighter than they should be. And that's why I'm trying to lose weight.

I don't want my "fat" jeans to fit so well, and that's why I'm trying to lose weight.

I think about my body too much, and that's also why I'm trying to lose weight.

So here's my plan. By February 1, I want to be 127 pounds. That's three pounds between now and then (21 days). It's not as easy as it sounds because this week I'm tapering, which means I can't go all out with weights and cardio. Next week I start grad night-school. Three pounds should be no problem, but any amount of weight loss is a psychological and physical challenge.

Diet is my biggest obstacle. Hunger makes me crazy. I would rather work out three hours a day and eat all I want than buckle down on portion control and diet. But I didn't gain this weight by working out three hours a day, ya know.

I want my final resting weight to be 122 or 123. It's going to be a lot harder to go from 127 to 122 than from 130 to 127, but I know my body, and I know I feel at my best right around 122, 123. I'm going to give myself more time to drop those pounds, maybe a pound a month (that would take me to June).

So this is a lot of yammering to say I know I'm not fat, but I want to feel my best, and right now I don't. I'm proud of myself, this weight or any other, but I'm ready to not let discomfort at the office or second-guessing outfits with friends even be concerns of mine.

Slow, steady and healthfully. For a visual just imagine me working out in my study with Jillian Michaels, sweat literally flying all over the place. :) Now we're talkin'!